New York - December 31, 2003

Best of DailyCandy 2003: Could It Be Magic?

Egyptian Magic Healing Cream

As is our custom here at DailyCandy, the week between Christmas and New Year’s will be dedicated to the greatest hits of 2003. Because we know your tired brain can’t handle any new info before January. (It has nothing to do with our wanting a week off.)

Have a great holiday, and thank you for being such smart, opinionated, and excellent readers.

That roller-skating accident in second grade. Your battle with chicken pox. Your parents’ divorce. Don’t you have enough scars?

Unfortunately, life doesn’t give a damn. No matter how gingerly you step, you fall again. No matter how thick-skinned, something pierces you.

The best you can hope for? Eliminating the evidence. Egyptian Magic, a healing balm used by everyone from recovering surgery patients to pop divas (Madonna won’t leave home without it), is one of those hokey miracle cures that actually works. Just how hokey, you ask? Well, check out the Website, where CEO Lord-Pharaoh ImHotep-AmonRa proclaims, “There is a dream out there with your name on it … Divine law peace unto you.” We don’t know about that, but his earthlier claim — that the product cures all sorts of skin ailments — certainly seems true. Applied regularly, it promotes healing and prevents scarring (of the physical variety only, alas).

Though, according to Lord-Pharaoh ImHotep-AmonRa, “It is possible to win success in any avenue of life’s activities without wronging a single human soul.”

So perhaps there’s hope for those other scars, too.

Available online at guidance.org. For more information and to find the location nearest you, go to egyptianmagic.com.