Washington, D.C. - October 29, 2007

Gold Digger

Golden Shimmer Treatment

Dear Diary,

Me and Diamonds’s rocky friendship is totally over, thanks to a slutty secretary.

But thank heavens for Gold — she has really been there for me during such a tough time. And Gold knows that the best thing for a bruised ego is looking your best. So today she sent me to The Ritz-Carlton day spa for the new Golden Shimmer treatment.

They began by exfoliating my skin (wash that loser right off). Then they rubbed me down with gold-speckled moisturizer, wrapped me in a warm cocoon, and massaged my feet and scalp while it soaked in (my beauty is more than skin deep).

After, I was slathered in gold-flecked body cream with a bit of bronzer and, finally, sprinkled with an illuminating golden powder.

Diamonds would look pretty rough standing right next to me.

She may last forever and all, but I am more interested in the heart of Gold.

The Ritz-Carlton, Tysons Corner Day Spa, 1700 Tysons Boulevard, McLean (703-506-4300 or ritzcarlton.com).