May 3, 2006

Driving Us to Think

Lexicon XX

If our short time here has confirmed two things, they are:
1. We heart ATL.
2. City traffic blows.

From time to time, we at DailyCandy like to pay homage to some of our very favorite things: words. Be they of the techie, touchy, or travel-worn variety, we just love to play with them. Read on for our wordy-nerdy take on Atlanta traffic: both motive and opportunity for composing The A-Town’s very first DailyCandy Lexicon.

chirping
 v. Walking through a parking lot, fob in hand, locking/unlocking one’s car doors in a last-ditch effort to find your car. (Upon spilling her purse under the bar at Sutra, Ashley realized she’d be chirping her ass back to the car that night.)

D.E.B.S.
n. Those who appear to be suffering from schizophrenia but are, in fact, chatting up an unseen dog, into an earpiece, to a baby, or are using a hidden speakerphone.

gastrick bypass
n. The act of filling one’s tank in $5 increments in the misguided hope that gas prices will soon come down.

gastrology
n. The mystical art of predicting the future of gas prices. (Actually, my gastrologist said to go with the Prius.)

greenticipate
v. To inch out slowly into the crosswalk in anticipation of the light turning green. (I’d cross behind that car if I were you. Spring Street at North Avenue is all about greenticipating.)

orange-gina
n. A woman who speeds through the last milliseconds of a yellow light. (Orange-ginas like her give us all a bad driving rap.)

parallelisis
n. The unfortunate condition afflicting midtown and downtown drivers incapable of parallel parking. (A whole foot from the curb, officer? Damn. Must have been my parallelisis acting up.)

Toot toot. Bleep bleep.

For more fun with driving words, check out today’s L.A. edition.