June 9, 2006

Nakia by Phone

Home Manicurist

Pad into bathroom. Lock door. Proceed to stare self up and down.

Hair: A tad flat but otherwise manageable.
Skin: A tad dull but otherwise manageable.
Nails: Good gracious. Your nail chips give cow chips a good name.

Shuffle into kitchen. Hit speed dial for General Fugliness. Make an appointment with Nakia, a local skin and nail pro who makes house calls. Order a Mani Spectaculari — delivery, please. Ooh over exfoliated hands. Ahhh from start to finish of the gentle massage, paraffin wax dip, and choice of softly scented hand lotion (we recommend the Rose as a nod to those cow chips).

Chat it up with Nakia, who’ll also be happy to wax while she’s there (we’re talking sideburns, too, people) and is known to perform extractions so gently that clients fall asleep in her hands.

Thank her and tip generously, knowing that she’s charged you less than Nail Talk & Tan ever would.

Pad back into bathroom. Resume staring with slightly elevated sense of well-being.

Nakia (443-877-0178 or nakia_chanel@yahoo.com).