Birds chirp. The sunrise rouses star-crossed lovers Victoria and Rodrigo, entangled in slumberous embrace after a night of vindaloo — and passion. They awaken.

Her eyes say: Devil may care.

His eyes say: Come to Daddy.

You think to yourself: That breath must be raaaaank.

Victoria grins, expectant. Rodrigo leans in close.

He whispers: Hand me that Zilopop, will ya?

She says: Whaaa?

Rodrigo: It’s a stainless steel lolly. I suck on it for a few minutes to freshen up the old yawner.

Victoria: But. I …

Rodrigo: Dollface, after chain smoking and wooing the ladies with erotic and wildly pungent meals, Casanovas like me find it quite handy.

Victoria: This isn’t your first time?

Rodrigo: No. Zilopop is reusable. So long as you douse it with warm water and give it a quick rub every now and then.

Victoria: I’m sure you can handle that all by yourself.

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