You test witticisms on slouch-bagging strangers at Caribou but avoid flat-envelope toters like the plague. (Whatever do they put in there? Damn control freaks.)

You’re a purse profiler. And nobody blames you. Except maybe Karrimah Muhammad.

You see, her bags ...

You fancy yourself the lunching type. Too bad you’re more the hunching type. Over the desk. Over the fridge. Over those scones that keep popping up in the break room.

We won’t tell. But we do have something to share: ...

They got to you. The Cardigan Crusaders. Most days you fantasize about tatting up their foreheads. But their morning stare-downs and upturned noses have you thinking, Where do oft-broke clotheshorses find stuff to wear these days?

How about 1Five0, the ...

Uno, dos, tres, quatro!

DRINK
Otras Frutas Margaritas
What: Sala’s just-in-time-for summer menu goes down smooth with Sauza Blanco, lime sour, and fresh fruit puree.
Why: Tastier than the hair of that dog.
When: Special Cinco hours: Sat., 1 -11 p.m. ...

Cher without Sonny would be too much hair. Lucy without Ricky would be one dull argument. And Proenza without Schouler would be just plain old hard to pronounce.

Sometimes, two heads are better than one.

Take the duo behind Sam ...

Veruca Salt was having a very bad day. Contrary to popular belief, being dumped down a garbage chute doesn’t make you a good person. Nor does it inspire you to start a ’90s alt rock band.

Shoulda looked into that ...

Ah, São Paulo, how we love thee. Ocean breezes. Sun-kissed bodies. And exotic inhabitants with names like, er, Paulo.

Or Rodrigo. As in, Rodrigo Trussardi, the Brazilian designer behind import line Super Suite 77.

Silky off-the-shoulder tunics and airy dresses make ...