Ever wonder where we find the witty words we write? We make 'em up! (Well, some of them.) The DailyCandy Lexicon: Words That Don't Exist but Should is a compilation of these soon-to-be-discovered words. Written by a crack team of secret agents (fine, us), the Lexicon is accompanied by a behind-the-keyboards look at the DailyCandy staff – and our wacky escapades.
The DailyCandy girls pride ourselves on defying stereotypes. Contrary to popular belief, the office is no The Devil Wears Prada/Sex in the City hybrid. (Some of us are wearing H&M and experiencing a dry spell.) But it might be fair to say that above the din - dogs barking, phones ringing, Delilah screaming – a certain topic might frequently arise: last night. No matter how specific (and horrific) our tales, when it comes to men, we've all been there, done him, and will probably do him again. So in a chapter focused on dating, sex, and everything in between (dry humping), the cup runneth over:
n. When your toilet gets clogged because you tried to flush a condom.
n. A girl who puts out before dinner.
n. The final drink that sends you home with whomever you're talking to at the time.
(That last round of white Russian roulette almost had me going bareback with the barback.)
Instant messages accompany all happenings in the DC office. Want to know how big of a splash your outfit or outburst had in the pitch meeting? Just listen to the rhythm of the keyboards. Watch as giggles pass from desk to desk like wildfire, the delay only the time it takes for Simone to key in, “OMG, Delilah is totally PO'd over the new desks The Boss ordered from Ikea.” Like a postmodern game of telephone, these little megabytes of sound bites shoot from the office to the city editors, until eventually it becomes, “OMG, Delilah totally peed all over the new desks and it was The Boss's idea.”
Technology moves at an ever-increasing speed; language, not so fast. DailyCandy bridges the gap:
v. Drunk instant-messaging. See also drailing
n. A late-night text exchange that fails to result in old-fashioned lip-locking.
n. A tracking system devised to monitor your ex's every move.
(Nancy uses MySpace as GPX.)
Picture this: A fashion closet brimming with designer clothes. At your disposal. All the time. These sanctuaries actually exist at some fashion pubs - DailyCandy is not one of them. So since we can't pilfer some communal fashion paradise, we shop. A lot. Some of us are bargain hunters while others understand the importance of sacrificing good credit for a good outfit.
Shopping is like sex: It's best to avoid it when drunk. It's fun to do online. And just checking out the goods (window shopping) without sealing the deal can be extremely unsatisfying. To alleviate the frustration, some words you might buy:
n. The involuntary impulse to lie when the salesgirl asks what size you are.
n. An internet purchase that looks a lot different upon arrival than it did in the picture.
n. The time spent contemplating whether you're being tricked by skinny mirrors and soft filter lighting.
