Online - June 28, 2004

Tiny Bobbles

Personalized Bobbleheads

Ah, the perks of professional athletehood.

Adoring fans, lucrative sneaker deals, unchecked temper tantrums, and that symbol of athletic prowess seen in stadiums everywhere, the bobblehead. Your bouncy face, spring-mounted for all the world to see.

The first three are probably not in the cards. But Whoopass Enterprises is bringing the sporty action figures to the masses at mass-appeal prices.

You just send them two jpegs (a head and a full-body shot), fill out the form, and Whoopass’s sculptors and painters (now there’s a job to apply for) custom-craft your likeness into a bobblehead. A brown-haired, blue-eyed, not-so-tall shortstop for the Smallville Screamin’ Eagles? You got it. It’s all about you, sport.

Just don’t ask about next season’s contract.

Available online at whoopassenterprises.com or by calling 866-696-7515.