Shrink to Fit

Houston, we have a problem.

The jeans that made your sister resemble a rock star in snakeskin seem to have turned you into a shrink-wrapped walrus. And your mom says you got the good genes? Ha! It’s damaging enough to send you to the shrink.

Skip the talking cure and head to Jean Therapy. The Kenmore Square denim den is a haven for those dealing with serious (or supposed) jean “issues.” Owner Leah Eckelberger doctors you up with a cocktail of contour-shaping lines, figure-flattering forms, and highly experimental labels. She’s got everything from Da’Mage to 1921 to Farmer Brand on the shelf, and can rattle off info on various weaves, washes, and wears. Plus, she’s extremely sensitive to the most difficult fitting behaviors (psych-speak for “insecurities”) that appear in front of a mirror.

So much so, in fact, that Eckelberger schedules private appointments for the dressing-room-shy (men included) at no extra cost. You’ll get her undivided attention, unparalleled knowledge, and confidential counseling (er, shopping advice) in a safe space. The only fee Eckelberger charges is for hemming — which she does herself, reattaching the original cuff using her secondhand Singer.

At the end of your session, you’ll swear you’re cured.

And that your butt looks as good as your sister’s.

Jean Therapy, Hotel Commonwealth, 524 Commonwealth Avenue, between Brookline Avenue and Kenmore Street (617-266-6555 or jean-therapy.com).