Word Play

It was the day after yet another _____ [expletive/adjective] New Year’s party, and ____ [girl in the room] woke up bleary-eyed. Which of last night’s ______ [zoo animal] antics led to this unbearable _____ [loud body ailment]?

Could it have been too many rounds of _____ [cheap liquor]? Or was it the _______ [variety of handshake drug]?

The bedroom door opened and in walked _______ [guy’s name], wearing nothing but a copy of _____ [trashy magazine] and eyeing her_______ [inappropriate toy] on the floor. “Hey, _____ [jungle animal], he smiled. “Too bad the resolution to give up ________ [nefarious behavior] didn’t last.”

A fuzzy picture of her and ______ [same guy’s name] rocking the ________ [early ’90s dance move] to the sounds of ________ [Celine Dion song] entered her head and she immediately _______ [bodily function ending in -ed].

“So I guess this means we aren’t _______ [major life milestone ending in -ing] this year,” he said, grinning.

And at that, _____ [same girl’s name] decided the year would officially start tomorrow.

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