Following a thorough investigation, we submit the following assessment of your day-to-day lifestyle stock performance.

Random sampling of objectives: Unpack new apartment; pick up dry cleaning; plan the ultimate housewarming soiree; stock up on groceries; book a much-needed vacation.

Reasons for failed execution: A general inability to focus and improper time management (see: excessive hours on Facebook) compounded by an overriding sense of anxiety.

Bailout plan: We strongly advise the hiring of Kimini Concierge taskmaster Kim Dustin. The New England native jets about town in her Mini Cooper, tackling extensive lists of chores. Reasonable rates cover both mundane errands (post office runs, house-sitting) and sizable projects (corporate events).

Anticipated results: Repeated sighs of relief coupled with praise and admiration from loved ones and business associates.

Kimini Concierge (617-699-0905 or callkimini.com).