Dear Dr. A. Sceptic,

Thanks for being my GP, but I’m done with flu shots, blood tests and antibiotics.

I’ve discovered Diana Mossop, the complementary medicine scholar who created Phytobiophysics. She uses the vibrational energies in plants and ancient trees to treat everything from acne to fatigue and emotional traumas that over time manifest as physical symptoms. (I told you Bobby Whatshisface actually broke my heart.)

Using a voll galvanometer (an energy-reading device that’s not as scary as it sounds), Mossop tests the frequency at which the body’s cells vibrate. She pokes my acupuncture points while I hold different remedies, then she sends me home with energy harmonisers, tinctures and flower concoctions that she creates using chakras and colour therapy. The overall goal: to remove energy blocks and encourage the body to heal itself.

That’s why you won’t be seeing much of me.

Peace out.

Available at The Berkeley Clinic, 19 Upper Berkeley Street, W1H 7PF (020 7724 2624). For more information or to book a consultation, call 01534 738737 or go to phytob.com.

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