So you don’t doze off, we asked local comedian, improviser, and writer Adam Rubin (Those Darn Squirrels and Those Darn Squirrels and the Cat Next Door) to count down his top ten ways to make story time less mind-numbing.
10. Read every single word in the book, including the copyright page, dust jacket, and any words that appear in the pictures.
9. Fake a German accent.
8. Sing the story to the tune of Don McLean’s “American Pie.”
7. Feign extreme difficulty turning the pages.
6. After each page, close the book, say “the end,” turn off the lights, and move to Canada.
5. Pretend to struggle pronouncing a simple word then insist your child is wrong when he tries to correct you.
4. Scream any word that begins with K.
1. Skip a few pages. (No one will notice.)
Those Darn Squirrels and Those Darn Squirrels and the Cat Next Door are available at The Book Cellar, 4736 North Lincoln Avenue, at West Lawrence Avenue (773-293-2665 or bookcellarinc.com); online at amazon.com, $7-$12.
Dig It: Wiggly Worms and Super Soil
What: Poke around a bin to unearth a few slimy friends and learn why they are important to the ecosystem (for ages 6 and up with an adult).
Why: Kids. Dirt. Enough said.
When: Sat., 2-4 p.m.
Where: Chicago Cultural Center, 78 E. Washington St., at Michigan Ave. Registration (required) to 312-742-8497. Admission is free.
What: The shop/mommy meeting place just moved into sparkling new digs.
Why: Weekly breastfeeding drop-in clinics and prenatal yoga classes (one session, $16; six, $90).
When: Clinics, Mon., 2 p.m. Yoga, Tues., 7 p.m. Regular hours, Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.
Where: 602 Davis St., at Chicago Ave., Evanston (847-859-2312).
Family Field Day
What: Gather in the Crown Family PlayLab to learn about the ancient art of origami and make your own folded-paper cranes, frogs, and flowers.
Why: Hone those small motor skills.
When: Sat., 11 a.m.-2 p.m.
Where: The Field Museum, 1400 S. Lake Shore Dr., at McFetridge Dr. (312-922-9410). Museum admission, $10-$29.
Photo: Courtesy of Adam Rubin