View Photos If Hallmark holidays aren’t your thing, celebrate Valentine’s Day with a smirk. Desserts from local pastry chefs Stephanie Samuels of Angel Food Bakery and Melissa Trimmer of C-House Restaurant fulfill your sweet tooth (and your sense of irony).Stephanie Samuels’s (I Don’t Have a) Date SugarplumsYields two dozen “two-biters”Ingredients1 c. sugar2 eggs½ c. flour½ tsp. baking powder¼ tsp. salt1 c. dates, chopped1 c. walnuts, chopped1. Preheat oven to 350°. Butter an eight-by-eight glass baking dish.2. In a mixing bowl, beat sugar and eggs until fluffy. Sift in flour, baking powder, and salt. Blend well.3. Fold in dates and nuts and pour into prepared pan.4. Bake exactly 30 minutes. Remove dish and stir the batter well with a spatula (it will be sticky).5. Let it cool. Form into balls and roll in a cinnamon sugar mixture if you fancy.Melissa Trimmer’s (I Don’t Have a) Date PuddingServes eightIngredients1½ c., plus 1 tbsp., all-purpose flour1 2/3 c. almond flour½ tsp. salt1 tsp. baking powder1 tbsp. corn syrup1½ 6-oz. cans chestnut puree (available at high-end grocery stores)*1 tsp. vanilla extract¼ c. whole milk2 sticks butter, room temperature1 c., plus 1½ tbsp., light brown sugar3 eggs2 yolks1 c. dates, pitted and chopped1. Preheat oven to 325°. Spray eight crème brulee ramekins with nonstick spray and place them on a cookie sheet.2. In a bowl, mix flours, salt, and baking powder.3. In a separate bowl, whisk together corn syrup, chestnut puree, vanilla, and milk.4. In another bowl, cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Add eggs and yolks one at a time, scraping bowl well after each addition.5. Add the chestnut mixture and mix well. Gradually add flour mixture and beat until smooth. Fold in dates and pour evenly into prepared ramekins.6. Bake until a cake tester inserted into the middle comes out clean. While still warm, drizzle with caramel sauce or your favorite liqueur.7. Serve immediately with whipped cream.*You can substitute almond butter for the chestnut puree.Photo: Courtesy of Angel Food BakeryKeep reading for more anti-Valentine’s Day essentials that put flowers to shame.