They call you the human Weedwacker.

They being your dead plants.

Keep the illusion of growth alive with a custom silk arrangement from Jolanda Arts. The Netherlands-bred designer specializes in creating pieces you couldn’t kill if you tried.

Arts sources only the highest quality silk and dried flowers, with acute trend awareness (succulents, freeze-dried roses) in mind.

Call or email her with a description of your space or a photo of a vase you want to fill, and she’ll build you a bespoke design. Take heed: These are not craft-store fake-outs — the flowers look and feel like the real deal.

Arts incorporates natural elements into every piece, wrapping aforementioned roses with thick raffia (pictured); layering phalaenopsis orchids, kiwi vine, and birch; snuggling hydrangeas in aspidistra leaves.

A new subscription service gets you a bunch of blooms per month, and she works with all budgets.

If you kill her with kindness.

Jolanda Arts Floral Design (260-436-1039 or artsfloraldesign.com).

Photos: Courtesy of Jolanda Arts