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You know things have gotten out of hand when it’s easier to score a Birkin bag than a flu shot.

Before taking to your bed with a case of seasonally induced hypochondria, make an appointment at the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine. The clinic, which is tucked away on Chicago’s Northside, specializes in Asian healing techniques, including acupuncture, cupping, and massage.

For only $25 a visit (inside tip: the first session is free if you ask for a coupon), a senior in the intense four-year program administers a full examination (supervised by a licensed acupuncturist), including a thorough intake interview that would turn any mind/body doubter into a true believer. After you’ve been poked, prodded, and pricked (it doesn’t hurt, promise), they’ll prescribe an all-natural concoction from their herbal pharmacy to help heal whatever ails you — from a case of the sniffles to a bad back.

Unfortunately, handbag envy is not on the list.

The Pacific College of Oriental Medicine, 3646 North Broadway, 2nd floor, at Waveland Avenue (773-477-4822 or pacificcollege.edu).