Oh, Angelina. So many reasons to hate you.
Not the least of which are your lips.
But rather than get spiteful and angry, we’ve decided to take the high road — and get even.
Think your kisser is the fairest in the land? Think again. Cleise Brazilian Day Spa, a new sliver of a spot in Lincoln Park, offers an Amazon lip augmentation whose results rival the bee-stung pout you’ve made famous. No needles needed — it’s all natural, using just the potent juice from the red guarana fruit to stimulate collagen and moisturize cracks, and it turns lips a lovely shade of popsicle pink.
The best part is Cleise herself. A native of Brazil, she trained in the motherland before coming here. Her bikini waxes (or as she calls them, bikini facials) don’t hurt (no matter how bare), her treatments work, and you won’t find her products at every spa around town. In other words, she’s the real deal.
Which is more than we can say about you, Angie.
Oops, did we say that?
Cleise Brazilian Day Spa, 1841 North Sheffield Avenue, between Armitage and North Avenues (312-440-1060 or cleisespa.com).