He stuck with da Bears through twenty-plus years of losing. So celebrate dis holiday by huddling up and giving him something to show he’s first string on your list.

The Tommie No-More-Harris
They’ll gladly tackle his excessive facial hair problem at Truefitt & Hill (900 North Michigan Avenue, sixth level; 312-337-2525). The old-school barber shop (established 1805) provides hot lather shaves, shoe shines, and haircuts, so they can all look like winners.

The Mark Anderson Rookie Experience
Every newbie deserves the ride of his dreams. Give him eight laps (Chicagoland Speedway, 3200 South Chicago Street, Joliet; 800-237-3889) around the speedway in a V8 NASCAR-style race car roaring with 600 horsepower and he’ll beat his chest in ecstasy.

Good as Robbie Gould
They say absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. The French Belle Epoque Absinthe Fountain (P.O.S.H., 613 North State Street, between Ontario and Ohio Streets; 312-280-1602) is like a beer bong times 1,000. Even if he can’t get his hands on the illicit potion to fill it with, the mouth-blown, hand-etched fountain will turn other guys green with envy.

Sense of Di-Rex-ion
Every time you go on a hike, he gets lost (and defensive). Get him a navigational toy from Garmin (663 North Michigan Avenue, at Erie Street; 312-787-3221), a new store devoted solely to GPS devices, from handhelds to automotives.

That’ll have him doing the victory dance.

Want more inspiration? We’ve done gift guides in all of our editions today. Start with Everywhere.