Your horoscope says you’re flighty. Your shrink calls you neurotic. And your mother? She just thinks you’re fast.

For a sweeter analysis, ask Terese McDonald, owner of Candyality, Lakeview’s latest candy haven.

McDonald will peg your personality as sugary (overachiever), dark chocolate (sophisticated, resourceful), fluffy (sympathetic, earthy), or licorice (loyal, warm), to name a few.

Then, like Augustus Gloop at a chocolate pond, you’ll be let loose on wall-to-wall gummies and chewies, tables of Belgian chocolates, retro candies (Necco Sky Bars, Moon Pies, Candy Buttons), movie theater popcorn, and fresh-brewed organic apple cider and Crop to Cup coffee.

McDonald consulted with a candy council of local seventh graders for tips on what’s in (sour squeeze bottles, apparently) and chose her stock accordingly. It’s quite literally a sweet tooth’s paradise.

Fast? Nah. But you might end up with loose molars.

Candyality, 3425 North Southport Avenue, at Newport Avenue (773-472-7800).