February 13, 2008

Terms of Endearment

DailyCandy Pet Names 2008

Pet names? They’ll always exist. But that doesn’t mean they all have to be warm and fuzzy. Here’s a list of more, uh, realistic monikers, just in time for V-Day. Because sometimes, love bites.

babyflakes
n. She can’t follow through with anything. But you love her anyway.

big moppa
n. The hot janitor who works in your building. Currently single.

con Juan
n. He told you he loved you. You and twelve lucky others.

creedypie
n. You just want to eat him up — then spit out his taste in music.

deleteheart
n. When he doesn’t send you flowers on Valentine’s Day, delete the loser from your phone.

derangel
n. When he’s not acting totally insane, you’d swear he was an angel.

hoverboy
n. He who hovers too close while talking.

my pump my pump my pumpkin
n. This person obviously has an unhealthy obsession with Fergie, not you.

pookie
n. Avoid anyone who calls you this. If you yourself use it, you should be ashamed. (Also includes shmoopie and shnoodle.)

sweetfart
n. He may be sweet, but he can’t stop ripping ’em.

whorty
n. If she weren’t such a ho, he’d call her shorty.