Last-minute party + winter weight + way too old mini + windstorm = …

You do the math.

Avoid future embarrassment (emphasis on ass) at Le Dress, a new boutique opening today in Wicker Park. Owners and sisters-in-law Eva and Robyn Anderson are no strangers to style — both have fashion degrees and have worked for the likes of Dior, Oscar de la Renta, Marc Jacobs, and Chanel.

There are more than 40 designers to choose from (not to mention a $40-$500 price range), including ABS by Allen Schwartz, Shoshanna, Trina Turk, Betsey Johnson, Lauren Conrad, and more. Loose hem? The in-house seamstress will repair it in no time. Love handle bulges? Hello, Spanx.

First-time customers get a free L’emergency Kit, including safety pins, mini nail file, mints, and double-stick tape.

You’ll never get caught with your pants down again.

Le Dress, 1741 West Division Street, between Hermitage Avenue and Wood Street (773-697-9899 or ledresschicago.com).