A nightclub throbs with music.

Dieter: Klaus, are ve dancing? (Umste, umste, umste.)

Klaus: Ya, ve dance. Vy novun else is? (Umste, umste, umste.)

D: Maybe zey have not yet discovered zee right dance vear.

K: Zeir clothes have become tiresome. How come zey don’t check out Umsteigen?

D: Klaus! You said Umsteigen. Sounds like zee music!

K: Har, har, Dieter. Zee hoodie vit birds looks hot on zee dance floor.

D: Ya. And dis CamelBlues hoodie is a-ma-zing.

K: Dieter? Do ve look like girls in zese clothes?

D: Who cares, Klaus. You look hot. Ve dance. (Umste, umste, umste.)

Available at Grand, 374 Somerville Avenue, Union Square (617-623-2429 or grandthestore.com); online at iloveumsteigen.com.