You e-mailed nudie photos to his dad when the jerk dumped you. And smeared her whorish exploits on Facebook when she stole your man.
Purity on the Internet is dead. You could bring it back by spreading kindness, love, and holiday cheer.
Or you could screw it and stick with sarcasm. Someecards.com’s DailyCandy holiday cards pack the perfect punch.
For Ms. Pilates: “I hope spending the holidays in a part of the country where almost everyone is obese will help put your recent three-pound weight gain in perspective.”
For Nana: “May you wake up New Year’s Day underneath a man instead of a pile of women’s magazines.”
For Mom (upon whom irony is lost): “In lieu of gifts this Hanukkah, I’m asking for better JDate results.”
The cards are personal, meaningful, and cunningly cute.
And if the bastards don’t appreciate your gesture, they can click it up their ass.
Available online at someecards.com.