Attention! Troops, I’m General Store. Do as I say, and we’ll get along fine.Today we’re ambushing Rudy’s Roundup. Under ordinance 54434 you will respect owner Brooke Timm.When perusing the premises, use tact and judgment. Absolutely no testing of cruelty-free beauty products like handmade Earthworks soap or Least Likely 2 Breed lotion. Avoid Crazy Rumors vegan lip balm — it’s napalm for wimps. Tsores and Zadz jewelry are dangerous, so accessorize carefully.The vintage clothing section is no-man’s-land. Look, don’t touch, the garb and handbags: Timm braves the front lines of estate sales to find ’em.You — with the attitude — twenty push-ups while I taunt you with Rudy’s retro candies. You like those Neccos, don’t ya?Hold up: stuffed animals shaped like bacteria (chlamydia, staph)?We surrender.Rudy’s Roundup, 1410 North Milwaukee Avenue, at Wolcott Avenue (773-486-6400 or rudysroundup.com).