Gilding the Lily

Amelia Bedelia: Hiya, Ellen! Pray tell, do you have any hobbies?

Ellen Bunch: I garden sit, Amelia.

AB: Will you sit for me?

EB: Indeed! See you tomorrow.

The next day …

EB: What on earth are you doing?

AB: I’ve made the garden as comfortable as possible. Blankets, books, and a week’s supply of food and drink. Sit down!

EB: No offense, Amelia, but you’re a moron. There’s no actual sitting involved: I tend to people’s gardens when they leave town. I even  add compost to brighten things up.

AB: You don’t get paid to squash flowers with your butt?

EB: Nope. I’m an Illinois Master Gardener and a previous employee of Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. Like a botanical encyclopedia, I’m knowledgeable about planting, sowing seeds, and more.

AB: I’ll get a needle and thread in that case.

EB: You’re a thorn in my side.

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