Chuckle up.

SEE
Funny Ha Ha Loves You
What: Comics, journalists, critics, poets, and bloggers perform quick, humorous readings and sketches to benefit Neighborhood Writing Alliance.
Why: The set by up-and-coming comedian Cameron Esposito.
When: Tues., 6:30-8 p.m.
Where: The Hideout, 1354 W. Wabansia Ave., at Ada St. (773-227-4433).

SAVE
Squeeze Card
What: Buy the new savings card (only $10) from ecocentric website A Fresh Squeeze and get a year’s worth of deals on participating green products and services.
Why: Discounts at Grasshopper 510, Browntrout, Moksha Yoga Center, and more.
When: You feel down to earth.
Where: Online at afreshsqueeze.com.

SKIM
Lush Reads
What: Kick back at the wine shop to discuss David Wondrich’s funny bartending history book, Imbibe, while manager Jane Lopes mixes cocktails and serves apps.
Why: It’s not your mama’s book club.
When: Mon., 6:30-8 p.m.
Where: 1412 W. Chicago Ave., at Noble St. (312-666-6900). Reservations required to jane@lushwineandspirits.com.

DRINK
Green Line Pale Ale
What: Goose Island’s new brew is as crisp and citrusy as springtime.
Why: It’s only available on draft to cut back on packaging waste.
When: You’re ready to put down Honker’s.
Where: Hopleaf, 5148 N. Clark St., at Foster Ave. (773-334-9851).

RESERVE
Deleece & Deleece Grill Pub Valentine’s Weekend Dinners
What: Jump on the love train with three-course prix fixe menus for $80 a couple ($100 with wine parings at Deleece and beer pairings at Deleece Grill Pub).
Why: Spots go fast; don’t say we didn’t warn you.
When: Book now. Dinners, Feb. 12-14.
Where: Deleece, 4004 N. Southport Ave., at Irving Park Rd. (773-325-1710); Deleece Grill Pub, 3313 N. Clark St., b/t Roscoe & School Sts. (773-348-3313).

It’s your biting cynicism that we love most. That’s why we made you this special Anti-Valentine’s Day guide.

Photo: bryan champ / Flickr