Your past is fraught with hair experiments gone wrong. (Three words: bowl. cut. perm.)

For one that’ll go right, head to De Berardinis Salon for Baci di Sole highlights.

First, a hairdresser teases tresses into a wannabe ’fro. Then he applies dye, mimicking the way hair picks up natural highlights (no striping!).

Genius, right?

Yeah, we knew you were way too smart to be a natural blonde.

De Berardinis Salon, 155 West 21st Street, between Sixth and Seventh Avenues (212-967-0927).