Hello. This is your weekend call. Kindly get your ass in gear.

SEEK
Watson Adventures’s Naked at the Art Museum Scavenger Hunt
What: Follow funny clues in a competitive search for nudes in artwork.
Why: Give it your ...

The Olympics are here: Get ready for some heavy medal.

RELAX
Olympian Body Treatment
What: Full-body salt scrub exfoliation and bronzer application, followed by truffles.
Why: Take one for the team.
When: Thru Labor Day. Appointments begin ...

Once upon a time a girl asked a guy, “Will you marry me?” The guy said “No!” And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping and dancing, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, ...

Beach reading? As if. Try beach texting/tanning/ scoping.

Clearly those UVs have zapped your attention span.

Zach Plague caters to those with fleeting ADD. His debut novel, Boring Boring Boring Boring Boring Boring Boring, is a story about sex, drugs, ...

Yo, yo, yo, stunna, it’s DJ DC in da house.

Check it: There’s a new, way-tight store on the block.

It’s called Homeboy, and it recently opened its doors in Lakeview. Owner/interior designer Ripley Worthy set up the shop like a crib, ...

Hit the weekend out of the park, slugger.

SEE
Death + Extinction: a Polaroid Exhibition
What: Twelve New York and Chicago artists show photographs snapped in soon-to-be-discontinued Polaroid film.
Why: It’s your last shot.
When: Thru Sept. ...

Dr. Candy here, checking in on your New Year’s resolutions. Your charts say you’ve been going downhill since January 2. Not good, patient. Doctor’s orders:

PHD (Pretty Hard Day)
You haven’t slept in days, and you’re beginning to resemble your ...