Back in the day, all you needed to look totally radical was a tube of fuchsia lipstick and some blue mascara.

Too bad that was yesterday, Moon Unit.

Thankfully, Ivy Halford can transform you into a modern woman. The former L.A. makeup artist has worked on a bevy of celebrity faces. (Her services have even been included in those exclusive Academy Award goodie bags.) But stay with us here: She’ll give you a lesson for way less than she charged her famous clients.

Schedule an appointment to meet Halford at her cozy home studio. She’ll go through your makeup and tell you what to toss (like mascara older than 3 months), what to clean (dirty brushes), and what to keep (lots of sponges). Then she’ll make a few recommendations and give you some tips for applying everything in your stash correctly. And you’ll be free of your valley girl ways in no time.

Well, like, at least most of them.

Ivy Halford (214-780-0661).