God bless the cootie shot.

It saved you from the boys-are-gross epidemic of ’79 and delivered you from intolerable-first-date outbreaks in ’85. Unfortunately, you’ve been suffering an unsavory-roommate upsurge since 1994.

Frankly, you could use a fresh perspective on life.

Sign up for Michael Billert’s black and white photography course and in no time you’ll be seeing the beauty in everything. Over ten weeks, you’ll learn the basics of composition, exposure, and developing from a veteran who’s been snapping since MLK’s funeral.

All you need to bring is a film-filled camera (no digital, please — this class is strictly old school). Billert provides the rest: film chemistry, photo paper, and time in his personal darkroom.

After one four-hour session, you’ll regard those toenail clippings in the sink with a much more artistic eye. Which is a sure way to keep your grossed-out feelings at bay.

Not to mention those circle and dots.

Michael Billert (214-827-2053 or clickf64@yahoo.com).