The last time you had beef, a black eye and arrest warrant followed suit.

For a more pleasant encounter, head to Big Dave’s Burger Emporium.

The hole-in-the-wall serves the simple stuff, like burgers, hot dogs, hand-battered onion rings, and chicken strips. Choose from ten beef patties topped with deliciousness like mushrooms and Swiss; barbecue; or chipotle mayo, guacamole, and jalapenos.

If you opt for cheese, grated cheddar comes piled on, so it melts just right. Calorie counters don’t fret: Turkey and spicy black bean varieties are also on the menu.

Just don’t leave without some fried apple pie.

That would be a crime.

Big Dave’s Burger Emporium, 5403 Arapaho Road (214-484-8233 or bigdavesburgers.com).

Photo: chichacha / Flickr