Your motto’s always been: Give me jewelry or give me death.

But why not occasionally take a little bit of both? The next time you get the urge to show your solidarity with the afterlife, opt for a piece ...

Let’s cut to the chase.

It’s. Damn. Hot. Outside. And contrary to popular belief, walking from one air-conditioned spot to another does not make it any easier on our otherwise rugged Southern constitutions.

But a cool treat from Deni’s Soft ...

First, the whole Santa Claus thing. Then, the horrifying discovery that storks had absolutely nothing to do with your arrival in the world.

Some good news would not be unwelcome right about now.

So send it in a Yum Box. ...

Listen up, smarty pants.

Your high IQ may afford you many things (nice work on that Nobel Prize, by the way). But that fine intellect can’t explain why you’re such a dunce in the style department.

Best to leave those ...

They say one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch. What do we say? Consider yourself lucky.

Because while your last roll of pictures contained its fair share of stinkers (Fido’s paw, a blurry rainbow, and random cows), its saving ...

It doesn’t take much to get you seeing green.

Mom won’t stop flaunting her fuel-efficient (and celeb-friendly) hybrid car. And every time your sister changes a biodegradable diaper, it’s like she’s rubbing it in your eco-unfriendly face.

Take a baby ...

Isn’t that the way it goes?

You share your wisdom (dirty jokes, drinking games, mind tricks) with young recruits (assistants, bar buddies, Jedis-in-training); they show their gratitude by sucking you dry and leaving you in the dust.

It happens to the ...