Wall-to-wall mirrors. Two pets with your same name. Monogrammed toilet paper.

The only thing missing from the shrine of self-worship that is chez toi? A portrait hanging above your bed. But that’d be too much, even for you.

You just discovered that your grandmother’s brooches make neat belt buckles. And your grandpa just rediscovered your grandma. (Cialis. Ew.)

Turns out, everything old can be new again.

And so it goes with furniture at Patina Bleu: The shop specializes ...

Bargain buys and precious pups make for a warm and fuzzy weekend.

HEAR
Tegan and Sara
What: Canada’s twin sisters belt out catchy alternative folk-rock tunes.
Why: Double your pleasure.
When: Fri., 9 p.m.
Where: House of Blues, 2200 N. ...

There was Dr. “How Does That Make You Feel?” Gates. Dr. “Droopy Eyes” Mandel. And Dr. “Way Too Interested in Your Sexual Fantasies” Geary.

Therapy is enough to make you pull your hair out.

Don’t. Instead call stylist Andrea Ford, ...

Your old cheerleading uniform, a three-legged race trophy from fifth grade, abandonment issues.

You’ve got a lot of baggage. But your therapist can handle only so much.

For the rest, turn to Citywide Personal Maid, a company that prides itself ...

You’re high maintenance. (Who isn’t, darling?) But you’re going broke maintaining appearances. Three hundred smackers for a few blond streaks? In their dreams.

Take a walk on Reality Row over at the Cosmetology Career Center — a Paul Mitchell partner ...

There’s a reason you tell people not to mess with Texas: Simply put, you’ve got enough of your own, thank you.

Exhibit A: The inside of your apartment. Or what you can see of it from underneath the endless mounds ...