Admit it: a clothing label that reads ‘Do not machine wash or tumble dry’ might as well say ‘Never wash this item’.

Time to clean up your act.

Fantasy Cleaners — one of London’s best-kept secrets — is a reliable dry cleaner with branches in Kennington and Battersea that will pick up dirty clothes from most London postcodes and deliver them back to you as good as new. Collection starts as early as 6 a.m., and the business needs two to three days to work its magic. Although an overnight service is available.

The expert team can be trusted with everything from expensive couture pieces to stain removal or basic laundry for bedding, shirts, curtains and floor rugs. And unlike most other dry cleaners, this one won’t charge more than what you paid for the item itself. (Prices range from £6 for a knit to £20 for an evening dress).

Did we mention they get around in a fleet of bright pink vans?

It’s a dream come true.

Fantasy Cleaners, 529 Battersea Park Road, SW11 5BL (020 7738 1180); 321 Kennington Road, SE11 4QE (020 7587 1479); 17-23 Linford Street, SW8 4UP (020 7498 3355). To book delivery, go to fantasycleaners.com.

Photo: Mark Lund / Getty Images