The following takes place on a pastoral estate.
[Husband bursts into maid’s chambers.]
Husband: [wringing hands] Clara! I’m worried about the missus. She hasn’t left the bath in hours.
Chambermaid: Afraid she’s prunin’ before her time?
H: A most intoxicating smell’s coming from inside …
C: That would be the Green & Spring apothecary goods, sir. The marshmallow, primrose, and elderflower night creams, bath foams, and lotions arrived from UK spa and retreat Cowley Manor.
H: So I may not see her ’til next season, hm?
C: Considering the ingredients (from essential oils to springwater) come from the estate’s sprawling grounds and the avian packaging’s as posh as the Manor, I’d say not bloody likely, sir.
C: Lure her out with the gardening kit. Hand cream and balm, moisturizing gloves, and chamomile seeds all come bundled in one lovely package.
H: Blooming genius.
Photo: Amy Murrell / Courtesy of Green & Spring