Once upon a time there was a woodland ball, and the fair maidens had to make their way.
They strapped on platform clogs and topped their heads with oversize caps and trekked over the river and through totems of pineapple, lettuce, and sweet potatoes. Icy conditions left white shadow wisping from their eyes, and whipping winds swept their hair into poufed topknots. For camouflage against the winter landscape, only shades of ivory, black, and gray were worn, be it a sleeveless smock in a simple print, quilted jumper atop a turtleneck, or waffle-textured knit skirt-and-top set finished with a structured gold necklace. After the sojourn, day outfits were tossed to the wind in favor of a poodle-like floor-length skirt with matching crop top and a strapless cocktail dress of the same ilk.
And they lived fashionably ever after.
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Photos: Jemal Countess / Getty Images