My, how well-read you are.

Is that Balzac’s entire oeuvre we see on your shelf? And the complete works of Henry James? Oh, and we see you have several first editions. You must be very proud.

In which case, you really need to get yourself Knock Knock’s Personal Library Kit. How legit! It comes with “For Reference Only” labels, library cards, pockets proclaiming “From the Personal Library of …,” and the all-important date stamper, the very same kind that your old high-school librarian used to wield with such stern authority. (“These are due, STAMP, back, STAMP, on January, STAMP, fifteenth. STAMP.”)

So when your less erudite friends come to draw from the well of your knowledge, they don’t walk away thinking those books are theirs to keep. After all, you’ve got to keep an eye on those babies.

You do have a reputation to uphold.

Available online at knockknock.biz.