White Out

You’re what’s known in psychiatric circles as a bleach-o-phobe.

It’s your mother’s fault. (Isn’t everything?) Since that traumatic day back in 1986 when she spilled bleach all over your Poison jean jacket, you’ve avoided it like the liquid plague it is. Thereafter, yellowed whites, grayed socks, and grape-jelly stains became a way of life.

Let the healing begin. Having finally caught on to this debilitating syndrome, Clorox has invented a literal stroke of genius: the Bleach Pen. Now launderers can whiten what they want and nothing more. Imagine the possibilities: Red wine zapped from the stripy polo. Tea stains expelled from your Keds. Your truly unmentionables made good again. Or get creative and bleach initials on the pocket of your jean jacket.

Unless, you know, that’s a little too close to home.

Available at Wal-Mart, Target, and K-mart stores nationwide. For more information, go to clorox.com.