August already and the only place you’ve been this summer is Pittsburgh — for your cousin’s wedding? Awww. Who says you need to go far away to get your vacay on? All you need is a wicked imagination and you can go anywhere. (Just don’t forget to turn your ringer off.)

Life’s a Beach
Wear: A bikini instead of underwear. Eat: Papaya and mango (repeat ad infinitum). Drink: Creamsicle margarita or Roseanna Banana Kabana. Trashy beach read: Night Swimming. Wear Hawaiian Tropic just for the smell. Oh, and — duh, self-tanner.

Moroccan Spice
Set the scene: Drape white sheets from the ceiling, scatter rose petals everywhere, dab scented oil on low-wattage-bulb diffuser. Drink: Sweet mint tea. Read: Short stories by Paul Bowles. Chill tunes: Du Sud au Nord by Cheb Mami. Uniform: Sarong and tank top.

High-Pro Glow
Call your favorite spa and ask them to come to you. Add cucumber and lemon slices to your water. Forgo caffeine. Love your toes. Wear Sensi sandals all day. What’s a spa without the detox? And that’s right, genius — skip dessert.

French Kicks
Get in the groove: Petrol Records’ Paris. You’ll always have Paris on the screen (Gigi, Amelie) and on the page (A Moveable Feast). L’aperitif: Chilled Lillet. Le diner: Brie with bread and butter. L’attitude: Insufferably snooty to everyone.