Aw, crap.

Literally.

But instead of squishy please-God-no, you’ve stepped into something surprisingly cool, smooth, and clean.

Don’t be afraid to look down. You’re wearing goofy Tysso flip-flops by Duffs. Their soles are covered with very realistic color-screened images of things you’d never actually want to step on: sharp nails, shards of glass, and, yes, poop. Totally unassuming when seen on the feet (there’s nothing menacing about a translucent green strap), they’ll inspire a horrified double-take when you kick up your heels to reveal the ickiness underneath.

What sort of prankster would wear these shoes?

Probably one who’s dying to leave them idly by the couch or beside their desk.

Just so they can sit back and watch the sh-t really hit the fan.

Available at Steinberg & Sons, 4712 Franklin Avenue, at Vermont Avenue (323-660-0294). To see styles, go to duffs.com.