Crap Addict

It started innocently enough. A recreational lamp here, a casual rug there. (Hey, all your friends were doing it).

But thrift-store purchases were just your gateway drug. Next it was industrial-size freezers. And after that, random boxes of god-knows-what. Before you knew it, you’d become a full-blown stuff junkie. A self-confessed, crap-addled pack rat.

Time for an intervention. The folks at 800-GOT-JUNK are here to help you through the painful process of recovery. After you’ve compiled a list of your unnecessary items — anything from old mattresses to major appliances — you schedule a removal time. The guys then show up in a shiny truck and haul your stuff away to recycling stations or landfills. They’ll even sweep up when they’re done. Their service is already available in numerous cities across the country, and booking is easy with their online request form.

See? All better. In way less than twelve steps. And if you relapse, you know who to call.

800-GOT-JUNK (1800gotjunk.com).