The glorious weather has renewed your faith in this city. And, more importantly, your belief in buying insanely cute bikinis in bulk.

But it’s gonna take more than April rays to restore your flaky, pasty skin. (Oh, for the love of short shorts.)

Now is when Meredith Fish’s mobile tanning comes in. She’ll give you a fake tan so real it could fool an island native. In the privacy of your own home — or wherever else your comfort level and exhibitionist tendencies allow (she’s been known to make 2 a.m. trips to The Mercer) — you strip down, and Fish sprays your every nook and cranny.

No gross tanning beds. No Mystic messes. Just a light shower with an all-natural solution made from beets, brown sugar, and an active agent called DHA.

Once you’re hosed down, you’ll see immediate bronzing. But the real magic happens in the next four hours, when the outermost layer of your skin reacts with amino acids in the solution to produce a convincing sun kissing that’ll last up to eight days.

Even where — and when — the sun don’t shine.

Brownberry Tanning (917-612-5814 or brownberrynyc.com). By appointment only.