Good listener. No advice given. £95 an hour. Therapy can be expensive. So why not save your hard-earned cash and draw a pig instead? Yes, really. This is a web-based personality test that can be done in a matter of minutes, is completely free and doesn’t require sitting on a pre-warmed couch. Simply draw your little piggy and your personality traits will be assessed in a flash. Are you paranoid or relaxed? Devious or honest? Generous and kind or utterly mean and stingy? This method of psychoanalysis is more candid than your best friend will ever be. A word of advice (again, for free): spend a bit of time on your porker. Once you’ve finished the exercise, you get to view other people’s drawings in the Top Oinkers Gallery. You’ll see that some people have put a lot of care and attention into theirs, and if you haven’t, you’ll only feel jealous and insecure. Don’t like the sound of it? Want to run? You know what they say. Denial is not a river in Egypt. Available online at drawapig.desktopcreatures.com.