My, how you’ve long dreamed of your own big, fat Greek wedding.

Sadly, you don’t have a drop of Mediterranean blood in you.

And your matrimonial prospects? Zilch — unless you count Mom’s sexually ambiguous hairdresser, the one who calls you “hot stuff.”

Instead of lamenting the situation, invite the family over for an intimate dinner party prepared by Phil’s Gourmet Garage. Personal chef, caterer, and owner Philomena Aceto (“Phil” to her friends) specializes in Italian and Greek delicacies like moussaka, pumpkin gnocchi, and warm roasted olives and pecans seasoned with herbs and drizzled in a lemon-and-garlic-infused oil.

And because Aceto shuns premade menus, she’ll personally work with you to customize a spread for your guests (up to 30 for a sit-down affair). One taste, and you’ll find yourself pledging eternal loyalty to Phil’s cooking.

At least until death do you part.

Phil’s Gourmet Garage (214-327-2007 or philomenafood.com).