You’ve never been a killer with coordinates.

Four degrees latitude and twelve degrees longitude? More like totally lostitude.

Which is why you should leave the charting to an expert like aesthetician Elaine Farrell-Bloom. Her one-of-a-kind body mapping service combines several ancient techniques to give you complete relaxation.

First, you join the very British Farrell-Bloom for a cup of tea in her Lakewood studio. She observes your behavior (posture, walk, nervous twitches) to determine where you demand attention. Next, she’ll supervise as you blend your own body oil with her imported scents (like lavender, nutmeg, and geranium). Then it’s onto the table so she can push, pull, and massage you into a state of bliss.

She takes only a few clients a day and works until satisfied with the results, so there are no time constraints. But when you do finally find the strength to leave (it’s hard, we know), she’ll load you down with the leftover oil and a gift bag full of treats prepared especially for you.

Exactly what you need when you’ve just been on the journey of a lifetime.

And to think, you didn’t even get lost.

Elaine Farrell-Bloom (817-808-6227).