Do not attempt to remove this vehicle.

Good advice, particularly if there’s a whopping great sticker on your car window and a big yellow clamp on the wheel.

Or if you’re pissed out of your mind.

Drive-U-Home will collect your car from wherever you’re partying and drive it to your door with (or without) you in the passenger seat (their scooter fits neatly into the back) . That alone may not be a new concept, but Drive-U-Home will take any vehicle to/from the garage for a service whilst you’re at work. And if you’re flying, they’ll ferry you to/from the airport in your own set of wheels, saving you those exorbitant long-term parking fees and allowing you a sneaky miniature or five on the flight back.

And if your car is in a suspended bay or has been vandalised while you’re away, Drive-U-Home will take care of it. They’ll even sit and wait for it to be de-clamped.

Do not attempt to move without their number in your mobile.

Drive-U-Home (020 7880 1100 or driveuhome.co.uk).