Trader Joe’s, Baby Trump, and Brothers Ringling all at once. Boy, oh, boy.

SEE
The Beauty Academy of Kabul
What: NYC film sheds light on a bizarre and amusing cultural exchange between US beauticians (in Afghanistan) and their hair-styling students.
Why: The Post-Taliban Beauty Without Borders.
When: Opens this weekend; Q&A with the filmmaker after the 7 p.m. show on Fri. & Sat.
Where: Angelika Film Center, 18 W. Houston St., at Mercer St. (212-995-2000).

CRASH
Night Hotel
What: Charge cocktails to the corporate card then spend the night at Vikram’s latest fantasyland, which officially opens in early April.
Why: Go for the nightcap. Stay for the Gothic chariot beds.
When: When the moon rises.
Where: 132 W. 45th St., b/t Sixth & Seventh Aves. (212-835-9600).

EAT
Shake Shack Reopens for Spring
What: You know their burgers, all right. But did you know it reopened this week?
Why: Cheese fries, thick shakes, and dogs that win best in show.
When: Daily, 11 a.m.-6 p.m.
Where: Madison Square Park., at 23rd St.

BUY
Elie Tahari and Luca Luca Sample Sales
What: Cropped jackets, chiffon tops, raincoats, and trenches on the (relative) cheap at Elie Tahari; evening pieces, dresses, separates, and shoes are 75 percent off retail at Luca Luca.
Why: These last winter winds make for a great day to sale.
When: Elie Tahari, Thurs. & Fri., 8 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sat., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Luca Luca, Sat. & Sun., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.
Where: Elie Tahari, 520 Fifth Ave., 2nd flr., b/t 43rd & 44th Sts. (212-398-2622); Luca Luca, 23 E. 62nd St., 4th flr., b/t Madison & Fifth Aves. (212-755-2444). R.S.V.P. to pr@lucaluca.com.

Hable Construction Moving Sale
What: Before they head to their new West Village location, they’re selling throw pillows, holiday accessories, antiques, fixtures, and fabrics by the yard at 30-80 percent off.
Why: Learn the story of Cain and Hable for yourself.
When: Today-Apr. 10. Mon.-Sat., 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sun., noon-6 p.m.
Where: 230 Elizabeth St., b/t Houston & Prince Sts. (212-343-8555).