From immaculate conception to silent birth, celeb moms have always had to contend with rumor-mongers and skeptics. So this year, we dedicate our Mother’s Day guide to those very special high-profile moms — and their hopelessly screwed-up offspring.

If your name is Moses Paltrow-Martin
Mom’s a key player. Make sure she can open any door she pleases with a cool key chain. Or wow her with unique jewelry by Katherine Azarmi-Rose. Surely a fan of the musician-poet genre, she’ll love Leonard Cohen’s Book of Longing. Darphin’s new Instantly Radiant touch-up stick will keep her looking her best after sleepless nights.

If your name is Violet Garner-Affleck
Mom’s Martha Stewart obsessed. She’ll dig adorable garden stakes and look super cute in this hand-printed utility belt. Cath Kidston’s In Print will keep her inspired. And give her a head start with a Jonathan Adler throw or simple yet stunning dishware by the Love Plate Collection (page 4).

If your name is Zahara Jolie-Pitt
She’ll definitely relate to Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go, a dark novel about an unusual love triangle. And with all her jet-setting, a matching pillow and eye mask or an easy-to-throw-on dress will surely come in handy. But there’s nothing nicer to go home to than calming scents, courtesy of a delightful organic candle.

If your name is Sean Preston Spears-Federline
Mom lives in beachy casuals. Jazz up her sense of style with a matching terry sun hat and beach tote from Tory Burch. A bathing suit from Boden will thrill her as much as it thrills you since it isn’t overly revealing. Customize a pair of flip-flops to complete the ensemble.

If your name is Suri Holmes-Cruise
Mom needs all the help she can get. Start with Jane Buckingham’s Modern Girl’s Guide to Motherhood. No mission will be impossible with a pair of crystal-studded opera glasses. Cater to her softer side with a Sweet Elise European pound cake with fresh flowers that comes in an adorable handmade hatbox.

If your name is Barron William Trump
She expects the best. A Prada bag, something from Tiffany’s new Frank Gehry collection, a Schweitzer silk robe, and some Kanebo face cream should keep her out of the first (and second) wives’ club.

And don’t forget a homemade card reminding her that no matter what they say about her, she’ll always be a star in your book.