Necker, Eden, Taransay: you’ve always fancied your own private island.

But being neither Branson nor a reality TV star, it isn’t on the horizon (yet).

A more plebeian alternative? Mayfair’s latest pampering oasis, Lanyu. Named after the island off Taiwan where the first orchid was discovered, it’s a sleek and surprisingly secluded destination.

Against a soundtrack of tinkling bells and tumbling waterfalls, a therapist armed with hot towels and green tea greets you — and that’s before you’ve even taken your shoes off. Cherry pick holistic treatments from a short (but sweet) menu of lifting and firming facials, hot stone treatments and massages, all carried out using potent E’spa oils. If you really want to relax, allow a therapist to diagnose your needs and decide the appropriate remedy.

You’ll feel like a million dollars when you leave.

But you won’t have to spend anywhere near that.

Lanyu, 47 Albemarle Street, W1 (020 7060 0600 or lanyu.com).