From Here to Eternitree

The time you lost your best friend’s earrings, a heartfelt e-card did the trick. And when you crashed her car, you sent roses (and a check).

But now that you’ve gone and given mouth-to-mouth to her crush, it’s time for the big guns.

Something along the lines of an entire tree from Eternitree. The online supplier ships trees (and we’re not talking mere shrubs) year-round to any state. For big transgressions, the green or red Japanese maple grows up to twenty feet tall. A ginkgo or scarlet sweet gum inspires peaceful relations. If your offense wasn’t so extreme, a dainty pink azalea bonsai should do.

The plant arrives as a 2- to 3-year-old sapling in a decorative pot. The package includes a gift booklet with care instructions and a personalized message (extra pages not included for groveling).

Just don’t screw up again.

Or you’ll really be up a tree.

Available online at eternitree.com.